It's Time For A Change

When I decided I was going to take my life into my own hands and make the best of it, I deiced I was going to have to make alot of changes, quit things, start things, and start taking more risks. If there is really nothing I have to loose by doing something I want to do then I have made the choice to make myself do it. I only have one life, why spend have of it wondering what things would have been like if I hadn’t been living safely from the side lines. I am going to be the over excitable, happy, social girl I was born to be. I really have never been as happy as I am right now. Of course there are still rocky parts of my life and things that I miss, but over all everything that I have done in the past month has bettered my life.

Progress - I have gone out with friends for the past few weekends and yes it’s a toll on sleep but it’s been some of the best times I have had out. This past friday 13th-my favorite day of the year-I went out at 9pm and made it home 11am the next day. I didn’t sleep more than 3 hours and I went out again saturday night til 4am sunday. I have stopped biting my nails, this is something I have been doing my entire life and I have been able to stop for a couple weeks, but they are longer than they have ever been before. This to me is one of my biggest accomplishments right now, not because it’s a small thing, but it’s a veryyy bad habit and hard to stop. I’m eating better. I am happier. I am less afraid to take risks. I have many awesome plans with plans. 

It’s been quiet awhile since I put anything up. I have been super busy with life, which I am loving by the way. I can’t believe I let myself forget what it was like to be truly happy. No not all the aspects of my life are in order, but overall I can’t complain about anything. I have amazing family and friends that keep me going and I have the love of my life - photography that drives me up the wall with excitement. 

Recently I have been partying quite a bit, spending more money on booze than food. I listen to my parents concerns, but really I am not doing anything overly crazy. I am just keeping myself happy. I love surrounding myself with great friends that keep my laughing and I have a couple while I’m at it. The nights have been more than a blast, the friends I have made are questionable in others eyes, but I don’t judge people by what they do. They have but nothing my overly welcoming and nice, they have never once tried to pressure me into something that I didn’t want to do and to me those are good people. 

Last night my best friend and model moved home from Montreal!! I am overjoyed to have her back, I can’t explain with words how much it means to have her so close. We went to supper tonight and had some time to catch up, allow we weren’t really behind because we skyped constantly. But we walked on the beach and chatted about life. We met up with my “bio dad” a nickname I have for my aunt - tonia - and her two sons and their girlfriends. We had a great photoshoot and shared lots of laughs. I look forward to more days like this. 

I hope that everyone is enjoying their summers and that everyone has a smile on their face! If you don’t keep your chin up and work through it, a smile isn’t far away!! :) 

I will post some photos from this evening!! 

I can’t not explain how relieved, excited and happy I am. I found the best apartment in the world, with a great landlord and for a sweet price! It has one disappointment, but so many more awesome things that I can live with going to a laundromat - there is no laundry in the building. BUT it has a huge deck and a big back yard, and I didn’t know about that until I went to see it yesterday. All I do is think about what I am going to do with the place, how to decorate it, I couldn’t sleep last night because I was like a child waiting to go to disney land. I don’t move in until july first but omg am I ever going to wish the time away. My summer has been so great, and I am truly blessed for the great life I have right now. 

I will post photos of the place once I am settled in. Might be awhile :P 

Anyone that really knows the Island that I live on and really understands what it’s all about can’t believe what goes on here. I love my home, it’s a one of a kind place. Yes tourists flock here for all the amazing things to see, but when the sun goes down is when it gets fun. The parties here aren’t for everyone and I’m not saying that other places don’t have crazy parties but cops that have travelled the country are still baffled by the island. 

Recently a new cop to the island talk to a young woman from the island, he asked her “seriously what is up with this place?” and she replied “what do you mean?” he answered her with “I have been many places but never have I seen a place where 16 year old girls will be out partying with men in their 30’s. What is up with that?” Because the woman wasn’t part of the party scene she was just as baffled.

I was 16 when I started partying, nothing like I go to now, but I’m turning 20 and I party with those men that are in their 30’s and I never used to understand it, but it’s such a small community, plus they are fun people. I try my hardest not to judge people. I live by “If you’re nice to me I’ll be nice to you” so far they have been nothing but really nice guys to me and they are fun. I think they are still my age at heart and always will be. I never understood why that group would party as often as they could, but now that I have done it a couple of times I do get it. I don’t do hard drugs, I drink and socialize and mainly I have fun. I have made lots of friends and where I live most of them have bad reps but I still love them, they are great people with flaws, don’t you have some too?

This is summer is going to be one I won’t ever forget.  We know how to live it. :)